Valencia says: Heather has been telling everyone that she spent the summer in Europe. Our moms are friends, so I know that she was really in Ohio helping her mom take care of her sick grandma. Everyone loves Heather’s stories. But isn’t it wrong to lie? Should I call her out on it?

Valencia says: Heather is telling everyone she spent the summer in Europe. Our moms are friends, so I know she was really in Ohio helping her mom take care of her sick grandma. Everyone loves Heather’s stories. But isn’t it wrong to lie? Should I call her out on it?

Valencia says: Heather has been telling everyone that she spent the summer in Europe. Our mothers are friends, so I know she was actually in Ohio helping her mom take care of her sick grandma. Everyone is enjoying Heather’s stories, but isn’t lying wrong? Should I call her out on it?

Josh says: Speak up.  

    We all have that one friend who loves to stretch the truth. It always starts with one lie. You should talk to Heather before she becomes that friend. 

    Sure, her lie isn’t exactly hurting anyone. But that doesn’t make it OK. If she gets away with it, she’ll keep doing it. At some point, one of her lies will affect someone else. 

    The reality is, people are bound to find out that she’s lying. Sooner or later, someone is going to want to see photos from her trip, or they’ll ask her a question she can’t answer. Once that happens, it’s all over. They won’t trust anything she says. 

    You don’t have to call her out in a mean way. Just tell her that you know where she really was. Point out that she can’t hide the truth forever. She might be embarrassed, but you’ll be doing her a favor. Lying never leads to anything good.

Josh says: Speak up.  

    We all have that one friend who loves to stretch the truth. It always starts with one lie. You should talk to Heather before she becomes that friend.

    Sure, her lie isn’t hurting anyone. But that doesn’t make it OK. If she gets away with it, she’ll keep lying. At some point, one of her lies will do harm.

    The fact is, people are bound to find out she’s lying. Someone will ask to see photos from her trip. Or they’ll ask her a question she can’t answer. Once that happens, it’s all over. They won’t trust anything she says.

    You don’t have to call her out in a mean way. Just tell her you know where she really was. Point out that she can’t hide the truth forever. You’ll be doing her a favor. Lying never leads to anything good.

Josh says: Speak up.  

    We all have that one friend who’s constantly stretching the truth, and it always starts with one lie. Talk to Heather and help her avoid becoming that friend.

    This particular lie isn’t exactly hurting anyone, but that doesn’t make it OK. If she gets away with it, she’ll keep doing it—and eventually, one of her lies will end up harming someone else.

    The reality is, people are bound to discover that Heather is lying. Sooner or later, someone is going to want to see photos from her travels, or they’ll ask her a question she can’t answer. Once that happens, they’ll never believe anything she says again.

    You don’t have to call her out in a mean way—just tell her you know where she really was, and point out that she can’t hide the truth forever. It might cause her some embarrassment, but you’ll be doing her a favor. Lying never leads to anything good.

Rebecca says: Leave it alone.

    Who is Heather hurting by making her summer sound better than it actually was? It’s not like she’s spreading lies about other people. She’s not being mean either. She just wants people to think she’s cool. 

    It sounds like things are stressful for Heather right now. Her grandma is sick, and that’s probably hard for her. I’m sure her parents are really stressed too. If she wants to escape into a fantasy of a summer in Europe, just let her.

    It makes sense that you’re annoyed that she’s getting away with it. But here’s the thing: Calling her out might make you feel better, but it probably won’t help her. 

    So instead, why don’t you check in on her? Ask her how she’s doing. Talk to her about something other than her fake vacation. Show her that you want to be her friend no matter how she spent her summer. Hopefully you’ll help her see that she doesn’t need to lie to get people to like her.

Rebecca says: Leave it alone.

    Heather just wants to make her summer sound better than it was. She’s not spreading lies about other people. She’s not being mean. She just wants people to think she’s cool.

    It sounds like things are stressful for Heather right now. Her grandma is sick. That’s probably hard for her. I’m sure her parents are stressed too. If she wants to escape into a fantasy of a summer in Europe, let her.

    You’re annoyed that she’s getting away with it. I get that. Calling her out might make you feel better. But it probably won’t help her.

    Instead, try this: Check in on her. Ask her how she’s doing. Talk to her about something other than Europe. Show her that you’re her friend no matter how she spent her summer. Maybe then she’ll see that she doesn’t need to lie to get people to like her.

Rebecca says: Leave it alone.

    Who is Heather hurting by making her summer sound more exciting than it actually was? It’s not like she’s spreading lies about other people or being unkind. She just wants people to think she’s cool.

    It sounds like Heather is having a difficult time right now, between her own worries about her grandmother’s illness and the stress her parents are probably under. If she wants to escape into a fantasy of a summer in Europe, why not just let her?

    I understand your frustration at seeing Heather get away with lying—but while calling her out might bring you some satisfaction, it probably won’t do her any good.

    Instead, why not check in on her? Ask her how she’s doing, and start a conversation about something other than her imaginary vacation. By showing her that you want to be her friend no matter how she spent her summer, you might help her realize that she doesn’t need to lie to be appreciated and valued.